I wrote this over a week ago with the intention of posting it on here but I managed to get distracted and I forgot.

12/18/2008

Today was my last day at West Junior High and it was hard. As hard as it was, I left the school feeling incredibly high. I am so thankful for my experience there. I'm thankful for my mentor teacher Yvonne. I'm thankful for Tessa and chips and Salsa at Chile's. I'm thankful for Amanda, my fellow student teacher. I'm even thankful for Amanda's mentor teacher. I'm thankful for my experience on team, for the library ladies and the special ed teachers. I'm thankful for everything I learned and all of the positive experiences I had there. And of course, I am so incredibly thankfull for my students. I am going to miss them for a very long time. They have made a permanent imprint on my heart. I really, deeply, cared for each of them and what's really great about that, is that I know that when I left today, they knew that.
I cried every periord except fifth and then a good portion of fifth came to visit me after school ended so I cried then:) And I'm completely O.K. with that because I'm a cryer. I'm sure each year it's going to get easier, but the truth is, I don't want it to. I always want to care this much.
I am graduating now in less than two days. Technically I was done with school last week, but I wanted to stay as long as I could. I guess I'm a college grad now, or at least almost. It's so weird to say that! It's going to take some getting used to. I have been in college for 5 and half years!!!!! I'm finally done! At least with my bachelors. Boise State has yet to see the end of me though. In fact, they're getting another grand out of me next semester for a 3 weekend workshop to finish up my reading endorsement. I'm still not quite sure where we're going to come up with that grand, but I guess we'll work it out: ) With me graduating on Friday I almost feel compelled to make a list of amazing/funny/great/memorable college memories. In fact, I think I will.
Our first apartment (Ours, as in Sharlee and I's, that we had our freshman year).
Thomas. The experience of meeting him when I walked into class and it was just him and he had that funny accent and we went to the Flying M.
Thomas at Shari's.
Sharlee pretending to be me on the phone with Thomas.
Thomas talking to Angie.
"The last thing I want to do tonight is fight with the two of you."--Thomas
Sharlee seeing Thomas in the computer lab years later.
Scott's poetry class.
Friday lunches when we used to eat healthy (Sharlee and I:)
Friday lunches when we stopped eating healthy (Sharlee and I:)
Reaing poetry from other classmates during Friday lunches.
"Scott's going to be a little late for class."--Sharlee
Julius in Bio
Bio in general--except for me failing it.
Juluis in the elevator years later.
My Prufrock paper.
Falling in love with Prufrock.
Rashmi!!!!!!!
Reading notes in Rashmi's class and laughing uncontrollably while we sat in the front row and Rashmi was teaching (Sharlee and I:)
The John Mayer Concert and then staying up till like 4 am writing our papers for Rashmi's class and then somehow getting an A.
Sharlee and I reading off the incredibly corny lines we wrote in our paper.
Michael in Rashmi's class.
Not watching eated R movies:)
Michael years later.
That dirty, creepy, poem that Michael wrote.
Ryan.
Jason.
Meeting Derek in that first Ed class and him saying that line about MLK that we will forever laugh about.
Me telling Ken about that weird guy in my Ed class that said the line about MLK and then me walking into Ken's apartment and Derek being there and me not knowing they were even friends until that moment.
Ken.
Sharlee coming to Ed class just for fun.
My multi-media project for Bruce.
Writing "Losing Seventeen" and "The Grocery Store Diaries".
Susan's class despite how it dragged:)
Bruce's class last semester and my Sci Fi unit plan that I DID NOT want to do but then ended up loving and growing so much because of it.
Working in Mrs. Gratton's class.
Realizing I had made the right choice in regards to my major.
Realizing I was actually good at teaching-- Huge relief.

I know there are more memories. At some point I may edit this so that I can add to it. Or course, one of my biggest highlights of college has been student teaching. These have been some of the best four months of my life. I have so many memories. I am trully blessed. Sometimes soon I need to make a list of those too. Sometimes they're hard to explain. Sometimes it was just a look, or a laugh. It was finally breaking through to a student I've worked hard at cracking all semester. It was a poem that was shared by an otherwise shy student. It was two boys in my classroom every break and every lunch, playing the computers and storing food in my cupboards. It was all the students that hugged me as they left today and all of the students who came by to do it again after school. It was seeing myself in a student. It was laughing at myself. It was an amazing four months. I am extremely grateful for every moment of it.

The last few weeks have been so busy!!!!:)

Just as I suspected I would be, I have been horrible at keeping this up to date, which is sad really because so much has happened! I've been student teaching for nearly a month now and it's been both incredible and incredibly busy. Along with student teaching we also moved into a new home (which we bought:) and traveled to Nebraska for Ken's grandparents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. So the last few weeks have kind of been a whirlwind and they've moved incredibly quickly. I love the school that I'm at, I love the staff, the culture of the students (though a bit harder to grasp with uniforms, but still there), I love my mentor teacher, and I even like the additional program I'm doing along with my student teaching. I don't know that I could have been placed with a better mentor teacher. We view kids in the same light in a lot of ways, we're both sensitive to pushing kids too much in regards to speaking up in class. I'm already attached to the students this year. I was terrified to go back. I was scared I had lost my teacher persona. I had felt like after my internship in the spring that I had that down. I felt comfortable in the classroom as the teacher. I was afraid that the summer had somehow dimmed that level of comfort I had accrued. I was also afraid that I had somehow forgotten how to talk to teenagers. I was relieved to find that I hadn't lost any of that at all. It all came back right away, although I'm sure that will be a fear every summer. Classroom management has been so much easier this year than last. A part of that's the kids and some of the different things Mrs. G has implemented to make it easier to transition from activity to activity and then another part of that is me. I do feel like I'm getting the hang of it and I'm finding my niche. I'll never be the disciplinarian type and that's fine. I think I have my own subtle ways of dealing with management issues in the classroom. Of course I still have a ton of stuff to learn. I have yet to really handle a situation well in which I'm engaged in a power struggle with a student. I experienced that last week in a more subtle way. There is one student in the modified class who drives me up a wall. I've worked with her before, a part of me really feels for her and than the other part of me, the part that sees her make fun of someone in class or blatantly talk while I'm talking, absolutely can't stand her. I know that seems harsh, and in truth that's not how I feel. I'm jut frustrated because naturally I'd like everyone to leave my classroom knowing what respect is and how to show it to those around you including yourself. I just haven't exactly found a way to get that concept across to every student in the classroom although most of them exhibit that anyway. I know a part of it is that it's junior high and a lot of time teens are so self involved they aren't necessarily seeing themselves as being disrespectful but rather just as having fun, etc. It will be something I have to work on over time, especially with her. I will try and be patient. But something will have to give sooner or later.
Our house is great. I don't know how much it's really sunk in yet. I think I really felt it last night after my meeting at BSU. I was tired and driving back from Boise. I almost turned up the street to go to our old apartment and it hit me, "Wow! I'm finally back in Meridian." Seeing pictures of Ken's family birthday party on Sharlee's myspace made it sink in more as well. It was neat to see us on our back porch or Sharlee and Ken in the dining room because that's our dining room now and we own it! It will be the same dining room we have Thanksgiving in and the same house we have babies in:) It's an exciting thought. We still have a tremendous amount of unpacking to do. I haven't even touched the office yet, although I feel like I should soon, so that I can be a bit more organized when it comes to school and lesson planning.
Anyway, I think I'm done writing for now. I am going to relax on the couch and read guilt free:)

Utterly dissapointed:)

I cannot describe how upsetting the results of "So You Think You Can Dance" were last night. What is wrong with America? Will was sent home!:( I was incredibly disappointed. I cried, which is typical. I cry every Thursday, but this was worse, because he was my favorite guy!!!! Seriously, I wanted either Will or Chelsie to win. Fenix watched it with me, so when I cried he was incredibly cute and leaned over and hugged me and told me he was sorry:) How cute is that? We go through this every Thursday. In fact once he told his Dad, "Misty is crying." And so Ken asked why, and he said "She's watching some T.V. show." And for Ken, that said it all:) I'm wondering if this amount of empathy for T.V. people is unhealthy. Anyway, I am quite disappointed. Chelsie better win now, and if it's a guy who wins, it better be Twitch. I just thought I'd share:) I need to possibly post the routine Will did with Katie when they danced to "Imagine." It was one of the American Idol David's who sang it, the young one, but it was good nonetheless, despite the fact that I don't really like Lennon covers, in particular that song. So therefore if anyone wants to understand my sadness, you should maybe youtube him:)

Ramblings from work:)

So I-mailed Sharlee today telling her that I didn't think I was going to make a very good blogger, because I have absolutely nothing to blog about. However I think that may just be the beauty of a blog. Maybe you don't need anything to blog about:) What it comes down to really, is that life if pretty stagnant right now with it being summer. My week consists of work, the gym, "So You Think You Can Dance", and spending time with Fenix and Ken. Oh yeah, did I mention getting incredibly fed up with the dog and Wednesday night class with Sharlee? Because those have been highlights of the summer as well:) I just possibly wish there were more classes to take with Sharlee. The summer was incredibly busy with house hunting until the end of June and now we're just waiting to close, which is something I'm really worried about. We are pre approved and we haven't bought anything on credit that's new, so we should be fine, but I'm still freaking out over it. Less than 3 weeks, in fact closer to 2, and we'll hopefully be homeowners!!:) I'm really excited about that prospect and then incredibly nervous. Please don't let anything break in this first year!
I'm at work writing this. Just a little bit ago Darla was cleaning out here drawer and she came across Ken and I's wedding invite. We have some extra's at home, but I took it from her anyway. It's hard to believe it's almost been a year. I have no idea what we'll be doing for our anniversary, but I'm excited for it. I can predict eating the top layer of the wedding cake and drinking the bottle of wine we've had setting there all year, but other than that I'm not sure. All in all it's been a really good year. There have definitely been a lot of ups and downs. School takes up so much of my time, sometimes I feel like I never get to actually spend quality time with Ken. That's why doing nothing this summer and doing it together has been so nice. Dealing with Fenix's mom and step dad has also been challenge. It hasn't really affected our marriage, but it has affected us. It's just a difficult, heated situation, because they care for Fenix just as much as we do, so naturally when people aren't seeing eye to eye all the time, it makes things difficult. It's definitely taken some getting used to, knowing that no matter how good of a parent or step parent that you are, you will most likely always be scrutinized for something. I do however, feel like that's getting better and I'm hoping it will continue to. Although we will never be good friends with Fenix's mom and step dad it would be nice to at least be friendly, for Fenix's sake. It would be nice if things were good enough that school functions didn't have to be awkward or good enough that if there was ever a minor holiday, like the 4th of July or something, that Fenix wanted both sets of parents to be at, he could have it. I don't want him to feel like he has to compartmentalize. He has two families and I want him to feel like it's O.K. to talk about either one whenever he wants. I think things will gradually get better and better and they really have. With everyone being more organized it leaves less room for misunderstandings and accusation as well, and I think everyone's working on that. And to think, I said I had nothing to blog about. Well, I should get back to work. This may be a bit messy, because I'm going to post it before I proofread. I know, I'm a sorry excuse for an English major:)

Nothing too exciting...

Nothing too exciting has happened today. In fact nothing really blog worthy, however I'm writing anyway. I love my husband right now. He's being incredibly cute right now and sitting on the love sac with Byron because he thought out dog was lonely. The dog probably IS lonely because I have pretty much been ignoring him. We've been on the outs lately. I swear I'm a cat person. I never would have discovered that if it weren't for Byron. I think our relationship will improve now that we have the kennel. However I feel incredibly guilty about leaving him in it all day while we work. But what can you do? I no longer want chewed T.V. remotes or shoes.

I ran into one of the students from my internship last semester today. Fenix and I went to the library (where he got his very own library card, complete with a picture of a tiger on it:) and on our way out we saw Tammy on the steps. She was extremely nice and happy to see me and she hugged me. I don't know that I can adequately describe in words why junior high kids are so amazing, but it was in the way she hugged me, or the fact that she hugged on her own, without prompting. When I decided to teach English I envisioned a high school classroom, everything very "Dead Poets Society". But when I got placed at the junior high, my perceptions of who I wanted to be as a teacher, how I wanted to teach, and who I wanted to teach changed. It was not at all like "Dead Poets Society", I'm not nearly as charismatic as Robin Williams; it was something different and it fit me completely. Tammy is great, because there were days when she was nothing but attitude. She'd roll her eyes at me, talk while I lectured, and reflect on how dumb whatever assignment we were doing was. Then there were days when she was nothing but compassion, in only a way an 8th grader can be-- genuine. I had spent nearly 2 hours running around outside helping to orchestrate the scavenger hunt the students were doing. It had rained earlier that day and it was cold. By the time I came back in to get 8th period, my face was flushed and my nose runny. I must have looked like I was crying, because when Tammy came in (late) she took notice of this and leaned over to me sideways across her desk and asked "Mrs. Dietz? Are you O.K.?" There is something in the way she did THAT. The way she thought there might be a chance I, the teacher or almost teacher, was hurting and crying in class in the same way some the students do when they're having an issue with a friend, a boy, etc (because 8th grade is very dramatic-another reason I love it). Moments like that, and like today when she hugged me, are the epitome of why I love junior high. As a teacher you are a staple in their life, even if it's just for that year, or those 3 years that they're at the school. You are more than just a teacher, instead you're balancing somewhere in between teacher, friend, and parent. I really like that role. I fit that role. I love that this is what I get to do for the rest of my life. I love that my career will be just that, balancing somewhere in between teacher, friend, and parent.