Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Excuse the Cliche...
You'll have to excuse me quickly, as I use a cliche. But, as predicted, my daughter is growing up way too quickly! I had been told this would happen many times throughout my pregnancy. I don't know that I realized just HOW quick quickly really was until I became Grace's mother though. On Saturday, she'll be five months old, and these past five months have FLEW! It's sad and exciting at the same time. Sad, that it's flying by, but I manage to fall in love with each new stage she's in. I've had multiple times in these last few months, where I've though, "It can't get better than this." And yet, it does. I love watching her grow. I love the new hair she's getting on her head, and the new noises she loves. I love each phase she goes through from constantly flipping onto her belly, to holding on to her toes every chance she gets. I love her. I don't know that I can find the words to describe what I feel for her. It is all encompassing. It's enveloping. I get lost in it. And, I thank God every day for entrusting me with her. I am so grateful to be her mother.
Before these next few months speed by, I thought I'd try to slow things down a bit by recording and sharing some of my favorite moments/things from these last five months.
-Waking up to feed Grace during the night. She's not at a point where she sleeps through the night yet. I really thought I'd have a hard time with the lack of sleep thing, but I'm going to be honest, I think I'll actually miss waking up to her in the middle of the night. She usually goes to bed around eight and then wakes up between two and three. I don't wake up to her crying. In fact, I'm not sure what wakes me up. She sleeps next to our bed the first half of the night, and so I think I just hear/sense her movement. Once I do, I get out of bed to pick her up, and I am ALWAYS greeted by her little grin. It's like she's saying, "Oh, there you are Mommy." I love it. Despite being sleep deprived, it is one of the highlights of every day. I look forward to it. It's like our secret.
-The way she laughs at Ken. I'll admit, sometimes I'm jealous of it. I can't get the laughs out of her the way that Ken does, but I love it all the same.
-Her bum dance. She loves it. We love it. It's a staple in our house. Bum dancing usually occurs once per day. I attempted to upload a video of this, but had no such luck.
-Bath time. Her first two baths she screamed bloody murder, but now she's my little bath time girl. She loves the warm water and she is so good in the bath. Lately, after we're done getting her clean, I drain the tub so there's just an inch or two in the bottom, and I lay her down and let her splash.
-The first time she laughed. It happened back in July. She was swinging in her swing outside while we ate and she discovered the mobile for the first time. Apparently, it was hilarious!
-That first night in the hospital. I couldn't put her down. They took her to the nursery around three a.m. because she had swallowed some amniotic fluid, and I ached the minute they took her from the room. I was immediately hooked.
-The way she looks at Fenix. She most definitely knows who her brother is. They already have a special bond. If he is in the room, her attention is on him.
-The first time Ken put her in a hoodie and she was so cute I could have died.
-Our morning playtime. Those first few months when I was home with her we had a routine. She'd wake up and eat. Then I'd sit with her on the couch with my legs curled up, and I'd lay her down on my legs, and we'd play. If it was a day Fenix was with us, he'd play with her too. Then when she was all played out, I'd wrap her up and we'd lie down on the couch and nap. I miss those naps with her.
-The first time she cried at our house. Every animal rushed into our bedroom to check out the noise. Byron was alarmed. He actually started to cry himself. The cats were equally upset, both of them hopping onto the bed to explore our newest noise maker.
-Her new obsession with her toes. She is always reaching for them. Just the other day, she was able to get them into her mouth.
-Her constant curiosity about everything. She is always reaching out to play with something; my hair, necklace, yarn, the carpet, you name it. One of her favorite's is Ken's beard:)
-When our delivery nurse first saw the top of her head. "I see dark hair!" And, then my reaction, "Dark hair? Are you sure?". Once she confirmed that she did indeed have brown hair, the waterworks began.
Of course there are other favorites too, and there are daily things I love, like her laugh or the way she talks non stop now. Her constant need to bounce when you are holding her, or the how closely she pays attention when you read to her.
I'm sure as these months progress and turn into years that I will only have more moments to add to my list. These first few months having been nothing short of magic, and I am very grateful to have the happy, healthy, daughter that I do.
Before these next few months speed by, I thought I'd try to slow things down a bit by recording and sharing some of my favorite moments/things from these last five months.
-Waking up to feed Grace during the night. She's not at a point where she sleeps through the night yet. I really thought I'd have a hard time with the lack of sleep thing, but I'm going to be honest, I think I'll actually miss waking up to her in the middle of the night. She usually goes to bed around eight and then wakes up between two and three. I don't wake up to her crying. In fact, I'm not sure what wakes me up. She sleeps next to our bed the first half of the night, and so I think I just hear/sense her movement. Once I do, I get out of bed to pick her up, and I am ALWAYS greeted by her little grin. It's like she's saying, "Oh, there you are Mommy." I love it. Despite being sleep deprived, it is one of the highlights of every day. I look forward to it. It's like our secret.
-The way she laughs at Ken. I'll admit, sometimes I'm jealous of it. I can't get the laughs out of her the way that Ken does, but I love it all the same.
-Her bum dance. She loves it. We love it. It's a staple in our house. Bum dancing usually occurs once per day. I attempted to upload a video of this, but had no such luck.
-Bath time. Her first two baths she screamed bloody murder, but now she's my little bath time girl. She loves the warm water and she is so good in the bath. Lately, after we're done getting her clean, I drain the tub so there's just an inch or two in the bottom, and I lay her down and let her splash.
-The first time she laughed. It happened back in July. She was swinging in her swing outside while we ate and she discovered the mobile for the first time. Apparently, it was hilarious!
-That first night in the hospital. I couldn't put her down. They took her to the nursery around three a.m. because she had swallowed some amniotic fluid, and I ached the minute they took her from the room. I was immediately hooked.
-The way she looks at Fenix. She most definitely knows who her brother is. They already have a special bond. If he is in the room, her attention is on him.
-The first time Ken put her in a hoodie and she was so cute I could have died.
-Our morning playtime. Those first few months when I was home with her we had a routine. She'd wake up and eat. Then I'd sit with her on the couch with my legs curled up, and I'd lay her down on my legs, and we'd play. If it was a day Fenix was with us, he'd play with her too. Then when she was all played out, I'd wrap her up and we'd lie down on the couch and nap. I miss those naps with her.
-The first time she cried at our house. Every animal rushed into our bedroom to check out the noise. Byron was alarmed. He actually started to cry himself. The cats were equally upset, both of them hopping onto the bed to explore our newest noise maker.
-Her new obsession with her toes. She is always reaching for them. Just the other day, she was able to get them into her mouth.
-Her constant curiosity about everything. She is always reaching out to play with something; my hair, necklace, yarn, the carpet, you name it. One of her favorite's is Ken's beard:)
-When our delivery nurse first saw the top of her head. "I see dark hair!" And, then my reaction, "Dark hair? Are you sure?". Once she confirmed that she did indeed have brown hair, the waterworks began.
Of course there are other favorites too, and there are daily things I love, like her laugh or the way she talks non stop now. Her constant need to bounce when you are holding her, or the how closely she pays attention when you read to her.
I'm sure as these months progress and turn into years that I will only have more moments to add to my list. These first few months having been nothing short of magic, and I am very grateful to have the happy, healthy, daughter that I do.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thank You!
If you know our family, then you know that Fenix only lives with us half the time and and that he spends the other half of his time with his mom and her family. This is tough, as I'm sure it is for the billions of families who are in similar situations. However, despite splitting his nights between his two homes, we still get to see Fenix every school day, even on the mornings that he is technically with his mother. Why? Well, my husband meets Fenix's step-dad or mom at 6:30 every morning that they have him. Ken brings Fenix back to our house and they eat breakfast together and then Fenix gets ready for the day and Ken takes him to school. Usually once a week on one of Fenix's mom's days I pick Fenix up from school and take him to religious ed as well. Sometimes, this annoys me. Having Fenix in the morning DOES NOT annoy me, nor does having extra time with him in the afternoon, but the fact that Fenix's mother can't seem to make the time to take her son to school does (last year she worked from home, so her schedule was more than open to take him to school, etc. This year, she is going to BSU, therefore she passes right by his school on her way to school, and she is also working part time at a place located 3 minutes from Fenix's school/5 minutes from our house.) Yet, despite all this, she absolutely cannot take him to school. I have to admit I don't understand this AT ALL! God forbid, I ever be in the situation where my child is living in a split home and I only have her half the time; however, if that did happen, I can guarantee you that I would be spending every moment I could with her. In fact, I spend every moment I can with Fenix when we have him. We make plans around our schedule with him because we want all that we can get with him. We make sacrifices for him because we want him to be happy and because that's just what you do when you're a parent. Although to be honest, we don't look at it as a sacrifice. It's just what you do. Needless, to say, I am completely baffled by Fenix's mother. And in truth, kind of think that if she can't budget in taking Fenix to school in the morning, then maybe Fenix should just be with us during the school week. It would be different if she worked at that hour and so she had to drop him off with Ken in the morning. However, that's not the case.
This morning was one of those mornings where my husband picked Fenix up and he spent the morning with us before school. I have the day off because Grace has her four month doctor's appointment. We ate breakfast, Fenix and I played with Grace together, and when it came time for Fenix to go to school, Grace and I walked him down to the bus stop, because Ken had to leave for work. Now, despite my annoyance with Fenix's mother, if I could say something to her about this situation, it would be this:
Thank you!
Thank you for giving us more time with Fenix. Your selfishness is only resulting in a loss for you and a gain for us. I'm sure there will come a time (especially when Fenix begins to realize and vocalize which of his parents have been the one to always make time for him) that you will look back, and regret the time that you gave away.
But in the meantime, thank you! We will take all the extra time that we can get.
This morning was one of those mornings where my husband picked Fenix up and he spent the morning with us before school. I have the day off because Grace has her four month doctor's appointment. We ate breakfast, Fenix and I played with Grace together, and when it came time for Fenix to go to school, Grace and I walked him down to the bus stop, because Ken had to leave for work. Now, despite my annoyance with Fenix's mother, if I could say something to her about this situation, it would be this:
Thank you!
Thank you for giving us more time with Fenix. Your selfishness is only resulting in a loss for you and a gain for us. I'm sure there will come a time (especially when Fenix begins to realize and vocalize which of his parents have been the one to always make time for him) that you will look back, and regret the time that you gave away.
But in the meantime, thank you! We will take all the extra time that we can get.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Because I Can't Seem to Find the Words, I've Borrowed Someone Else's.
"The Names" by Bill Collins
Yesterday, I lay awake in the palm of the night./A soft rain stole in, unhelped by any breeze,/And when I saw the silver glaze on the windows,/I started with A, with Ackerman, as it happened,/Then Baxter and Calabro,/Davis and Eberling, names falling into place/As droplets fell through the dark./Names printed on the ceiling of the night./Names slipping around a watery bend./Twenty-six willows on the banks of a stream./In the morning, I walked out barefoot/Among thousands of flowers/Heavy with dew like the eyes of tears,/And each had a name --/Fiori inscribed on a yellow petal/Then Gonzalez and Han, Ishikawa and Jenkins./Names written in the air/And stitched into the cloth of the day./A name under a photograph taped to a mailbox./Monogram on a torn shirt,/I see you spelled out on storefront windows/And on the bright unfurled awnings of this city./I say the syllables as I turn a corner --/Kelly and Lee,/Medina, Nardella, and O'Connor./When I peer into the woods,/I see a thick tangle where letters are hidden/As in a puzzle concocted for children./Parker and Quigley in the twigs of an ash,/Rizzo, Schubert, Torres, and Upton,/Secrets in the boughs of an ancient maple./Names written in the pale sky./Names rising in the updraft amid buildings./Names silent in stone/Or cried out behind a door./Names blown over the earth and out to sea./In the evening -- weakening light, the last swallows./A boy on a lake lifts his oars./A woman by a window puts a match to a candle,/And the names are outlined on the rose clouds --/Vanacore and Wallace,/(let X stand, if it can, for the ones unfound)/Then Young and Ziminsky, the final jolt of Z./Names etched on the head of a pin./One name spanning a bridge, another undergoing a tunnel./A blue name needled into the skin./Names of citizens, workers, mothers and fathers,/The bright-eyed daughter, the quick son./Alphabet of names in a green field./Names in the small tracks of birds./Names lifted from a hat/Or balanced on the tip of the tongue./Names wheeled into the dim warehouse of memory./So many names, there is barely room on the walls of the heart.
This poem always gives me chills. We read it each year in my class to start off our poetry unit. I am always amazed at how little my students know about an event that in many ways, gave definition to my generation. It's hard to believe it's been ten years. I'd share a story about how I spent that day, but to be honest all I remember is feeling overwhelmed and sick to my stomach while sitting in complete silence in my history class as we all watched footage of the second plane hitting the twin towers. I imagine that September 11th will be to my generation, what the assassination of JFK was to my mother's.
Yesterday, I lay awake in the palm of the night./A soft rain stole in, unhelped by any breeze,/And when I saw the silver glaze on the windows,/I started with A, with Ackerman, as it happened,/Then Baxter and Calabro,/Davis and Eberling, names falling into place/As droplets fell through the dark./Names printed on the ceiling of the night./Names slipping around a watery bend./Twenty-six willows on the banks of a stream./In the morning, I walked out barefoot/Among thousands of flowers/Heavy with dew like the eyes of tears,/And each had a name --/Fiori inscribed on a yellow petal/Then Gonzalez and Han, Ishikawa and Jenkins./Names written in the air/And stitched into the cloth of the day./A name under a photograph taped to a mailbox./Monogram on a torn shirt,/I see you spelled out on storefront windows/And on the bright unfurled awnings of this city./I say the syllables as I turn a corner --/Kelly and Lee,/Medina, Nardella, and O'Connor./When I peer into the woods,/I see a thick tangle where letters are hidden/As in a puzzle concocted for children./Parker and Quigley in the twigs of an ash,/Rizzo, Schubert, Torres, and Upton,/Secrets in the boughs of an ancient maple./Names written in the pale sky./Names rising in the updraft amid buildings./Names silent in stone/Or cried out behind a door./Names blown over the earth and out to sea./In the evening -- weakening light, the last swallows./A boy on a lake lifts his oars./A woman by a window puts a match to a candle,/And the names are outlined on the rose clouds --/Vanacore and Wallace,/(let X stand, if it can, for the ones unfound)/Then Young and Ziminsky, the final jolt of Z./Names etched on the head of a pin./One name spanning a bridge, another undergoing a tunnel./A blue name needled into the skin./Names of citizens, workers, mothers and fathers,/The bright-eyed daughter, the quick son./Alphabet of names in a green field./Names in the small tracks of birds./Names lifted from a hat/Or balanced on the tip of the tongue./Names wheeled into the dim warehouse of memory./So many names, there is barely room on the walls of the heart.
This poem always gives me chills. We read it each year in my class to start off our poetry unit. I am always amazed at how little my students know about an event that in many ways, gave definition to my generation. It's hard to believe it's been ten years. I'd share a story about how I spent that day, but to be honest all I remember is feeling overwhelmed and sick to my stomach while sitting in complete silence in my history class as we all watched footage of the second plane hitting the twin towers. I imagine that September 11th will be to my generation, what the assassination of JFK was to my mother's.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
If Only I Had Learned the First Time
If you read my blog semi regularly, then you may recall a post where I did nothing but complain about my wisdom tooth and the constant pain I was in. Well, I was pregnant at the time and so I hemmed and hawed for quite some time before getting the tooth removed. If I didn't think that losing my mind was a real possibility I probably would have waited. Because I was pregnant, they only took out my problem tooth and told me to have the rest removed that summer after Grace came. Did I listen? Nope. My teeth weren't bothering me and a day with gauze filling my mouth didn't sound appealing.
Well, guess what?
Did you make your guess?
Bingo! My gosh darn wisdom teeth are killing me again. KILLING me! Now, it's not as bad as it was when I was pregnant, although it was bad enough to wake me up last night (as if I don't get up enough already with Grace:). And, it's bad enough that pain killers only seem to work for about an hour.
I'm sad. You would have thought that I would have just learned the first time from my mistake of putting off removing them. My dentist has seriously been telling me to get rid of them for years. I'm unfortunately already taking a day off this month for Grace's doctor appointment and then two days next month for Ken's surgery. Hopefully, they can get me in on our four day weekend in October, otherwise I just may go completely insane.
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About Me
- Misty
- In a paragraph...I am a mom, wife, step-mom, teacher, daughter, sister, and friend. I am a believer, a daydreamer, a memory keeper, and an avid reader. I love teenagers, animals, bad reality t.v., coffee, and wine. I value my family, my career, my students, and my faith. And, as a warning...I most likely will be horrible at updating this:)