Merry Belated Christmas!

Merry Belated Christmas to anyone reading! I hope yours was a special one, spent with the ones you love.

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. Grace isn't at an age where she understands it, but I really enjoyed putting her in her Christmas p.j.'s and watching her scratch through the wrapping on her gifts. We have been in somewhat of a Christmas tradition limbo since my mom passed, but I think we are finding our groove. Christmas Eve has always been a time I spent with my mother. Before Ken came along, my mom and I spent Christmas Eve exchanging gifts, eating snacky foods, and curling up on her couch. As I got older, we threw margaritas into the mix:) I know, not very traditional, but it was our tradition:) Once I met Ken, he joined in on the fun. Even when I wasn't living with my mom anymore, we spent Christmas Eve with her. We slept in my old room, we opened gifts with my mom, snacked, drank margaritas, and wrapped last minute gifts, along with Santa gifts, on her kitchen counter. Then in the morning, we joined my sister and her family, and we ended the day at either my mom's or my Aunts for Christmas dinner. In the last couple of years we have found a balance between how we spent Christmas with my mom and creating our own traditions. Ken didn't work at all on Christmas Eve day this year, which was nice. He threw pasta fogioli into the crockpot, I baked, we ate, and then drank wine while wrapping gifts. This is the first year in a while, where we haven't had Fenix on Christmas Eve. It was a little strange, but we had him all day and night on Christmas. Grace managed to wake up wide eyed at midnight on Christmas Eve, so we took midnight photos of her by the tree and then sat and watched the lights. In the morning Fenix came and our day took off from there.
It ended with a phone call from a very good friend and her mother, and Grace and I falling asleep on the couch with a book.

It was a beautiful day.

On Christmas Eve day I sat down and read this post by the Blogess.

Aside from friends, this is the only blog I read semi regularly. I am known to laugh until the point of tears when I read her blog. This blog post though, just made me think and to be honest, just made me a bit achy. This Christmas was amazing. It really was. I loved every minute. The only thing that could have made it better was having my mother there. I could relate to this post; however, I don't entirely agree. I will always ache for my mother on the holidays, and my Christmases will always be categorized as those I spent with my mom and those that came after. But, I will love the Christmases after all the same. I think they will always be accompanied with a longing for my mother though. I don't know that I would have it any other way really. I imagine that as Ken and I wrapped gifts and enjoyed our wine and pasta fagioli that my mother was in heaven (that in my head looks suspiciously like my Grandparents house), enjoying a glass of wine, or a margarita, or knowing my mom, a rum and coke. She was most likely seated at the breakfast bar, surrounded by my grandparents and a spread of appetizers (summer sausage and cheese to be more specific) laughing. At least that's how I envisioned her on Christmas this year. I suppose if my mother can't be with me on Christmas, that this is the next best thing.